she who is not quite human
Some women are too beautiful and alluring to be “real.”
I have been fortunate to know many such persons, whom I call with great fondness Goddess / Faerie Goddess, Angel, Elfin Queen, SiSTAR, Beauteous One, Mermaiden.
Daniela, known as “Ela,” is of the latter ilk.
the inspiration
October 2014. Across from me at one of the first metaphysical fairs I worked was a Being who radiated so much light, I could barely focus on my own booth.
Psychic readers in the Colorado Springs City Auditorium used to perch on strange little side balconies, while vendors set up their wares on the creaky old floor. So there I sat, right across from Ela, captivated by her luminous beauty as she channeled ancestor spirits for an endless line of seekers in a haunted century-old building.
the mermaid’s plight
In my experience, Mermaids tend to be caught between mischief and melancholy. The fishy half of the Mermaid is a water imp, toying with shipwrecked sailors and flirting with shy underwater-lings, while the human half is lost at land and dreams of a mystical mate — one with neither tail or legs, but rather a celestial shapeshifter. Her hope is to bypass the earthly plane and transcend to her true angelic form.
But alas, as well all know, the Mermaid is She Who Sacrifices. Who, after all, can choose between voice and legs? The Mermaid is trapped in a fairytale dilemma: born between worlds of ocean and land, she longs for something she can only have if she surrenders her most treasured gift.
In the Jungian way, the Mermaid’s native form straddles the unconscious and the conscious, the realm of hidden longings and instinctive navigation with a head poking into the world of destructive amorous temptation. The Mermaid is also She Who Inspires Many Artworks.
Though I’ve known many a Mermaid, I hadn’t considered rendering one in artwork since I was under ten years old.
the photoshoot
On a hot July midday, we met at Ela’s condo complex, which featured a seldom-used pool. Ela moved into Mermaid-mode and waded, dove underwater, and floated for a series of captures that inspired many artworks beyond this one.
The underlying melancholy infused Ela’s expression and I had to encourage her to play and smile, to think of something funny or happy, though it was obvious the water brought out her wistfulness.
what i thought as i created
I have rarely known such a beautiful Being as Ela, inside and out. But beauty hides a loneliness that comes from others’ jealousy and the kind of coveting that blinds both friend and lover to the actual person inside, disguising their story, their suffering, and ultimately, their humanness.
Inner and outer beauty are rare qualities, unique to the bearer. This uniqueness is the gift and lesson of the Mermaid: that we each have some of what we want and we want some of what others have that we lack. The Mermaid seems to have it all, yet lacks true companionship, visibility, and acceptance. She longs to be “normal,” to find this world and its painful realities acceptable and enough, but they never are.
From the Mermaid, I take this medicine: all we can do is offer from our hearts the very things that risk estranging or conversely smothering us by those who love to hate or hate to truly love.
Magical subject. Beautiful artwork. Brava!